Hmmm, I was asked to write a story of my recent adoption of Liana. I am not sure whether to start and title it “My day as an at-home cleaning woman” or “Why did I wait so long?”. This has been an amazing journey, which started looong ago. As a child, I knew I would some day be a mother; it was just ingrained in me that it would happen. Nine years ago, a co-worker adopted a baby from China through Cascade International Children’s Services, which has since become Children’s Hope International (CHI); I was told then that I should just adopt. However, it wasn’t time for me; my daughter wasn’t there yet. After many years of trials, tribulations, and pure fun, it became time for me to start my journey. I made my decision to adopt on May 3, 2004 and then within a week, decided I wanted to adopt from China using CHI. As a single, I needed a coveted “single slot” since only 8% of all adoption applications to China can be singles. However, it was the right time and it was meant to be, so I received one of 25 slots that CHI had nationwide in July 2004 and I was able to start my paperwork. Just like all of the other adoptive parents, I did all of my paperwork, fretted about any delays and stressed about when I would get my baby.
Then the time finally came. I went to Beijing early to learn about my daughter’s homeland. At that point, when meeting the other parents in my referral group, the adoption part wasn’t real. I was just on vacation meeting people I’d conversed with over e-mail for 10 months. Then we traveled to Nanning, met Dennis our awesome province guide, started doing the final paperwork, money counting, gift wrapping and turning into a bundle of nerves. I am not an overly emotionally demonstrative person ─ I have difficulty crying in public ─ so I was really unsure how I was going to react when I met the daughter I had felt in my heart for 41 years. Dennis told us all to remain calm and concentrate on the babies, ignoring our emotions, because the babies could feel our anxiety and it would make them more upset.
The babies walked into the room and I picked out the wrong baby as mine (just the beginning of a lifetime of mommy errors, I’m sure). Min Xing Shan was called as the third baby and everything else stopped and disappeared. This gorgeous sweet child was in my arms, looking at me and taking everything in around her. I could hear other babies crying somewhere outside my tunnel vision, which caused her to start looking nervous and start singing to herself for comfort. I had expected her to refuse to look at me and cry for days in grief. However, her method of coping was to shut down all emotions, so she was expressionless and then sang to herself. I just smiled at her and bounced ─ and I don’t think I quit the rest of the time in China. I don’t know how long we were in that room, although I know I met her nanny who loved her and told me in English my daughter was one of her favorites. Her nanny had given her a silver bracelet that had both of their names engraved, along with the date of 10/9/05, to show her love. I had my questions interpreted and everything documented on video before we started heading to the bus. On the bus, I started to turn her on my lap, so I took her arm off of my shoulder; she yanked it back with a death grip – we are now one!
We have been home from China for almost a month now and I no longer see my daughter simply as a gorgeous child. I see her as Liana, with a fun and amazing personality. I am so lucky and thankful that the time was right and our lives were joined. I still wonder, though, why wasn’t the right time earlier?
