This is a topic, which is
dear to my heart because I too suffered from depression
after dealing with infertility. I think the psychiatric
community should coin a term for it called
“post-infertility depression” since it is so common! I
am writing this newsletter 4 days from my daughter’s 5th
birthday. The days of infertility treatments are far
away – yet so close in my memory.
The pain of it seems
insurmountable, unbearable, and hopeless…but there will
be light at the end of the dark tunnel. I can now
believe that as I look at my beautiful daughter who
brings me so much happiness. Five years ago, I too was
at the bottom of the pit, struggling everyday to go to
work as a pediatrician – only to see “moms and babies”
all day long. It was a torture for me. I considered
antidepressants, but was afraid to take them because I
was a practicing physician and if there was a medical
error, I may lose my license. So, I looked for
alternative treatments…
The first thing I did was
seek counseling by a good therapist who was familiar
with infertility. I would meet her weekly and cry on her
couch with my box of tissues. It was very therapeutic!
Next, I took care of myself.
I worked out at a health club. I ate healthy meals. I
found myself saying inappropriate things to mothers,
like “you’re lucky to have a baby cry all night” when a
new mother was looking for advice from her pediatrician.
Eventually, I took a month off of work as a leave of
absence to get my mind in order.
Lastly, and most importantly
for me, I found God. It was around Christmas time and I
was at a Christmas gathering at someone’s home. At this
gathering, a questionnaire was offered to accept Christ
into your heart and allow Him to control your life. It
was at that moment I decided not to be sad anymore and
allow God to be in charge of my destiny. I suddenly felt
great peace and relief of my sadness. Miraculously, two
weeks later, I was called about the birth of a
beautiful, healthy baby girl looking for a family to
adopt her…and here we are five years later as a family.
Now, this is my story, but I
hope this can help you to realize that this is a
transitional period in your life. (My therapist would
tell me that often!) Take care of yourself physically,
mentally, and if you are religious, spiritually. Be
patient. The plan for your life may not be your plan,
but it is the plan, which is destined for you.
Sincerely,
Dr. Christine Poulos, MD
2007 Children's Hope International.
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